Work in progress
buying peaches is so stressful because you have to consume them so quickly…it’s like the moment the cashier types in that number the alpha peach turns to its brothers in the bags and says “alright listen up boys, it’s time to remember your training. i want to see immense bruising by sundown. i want to see you near inedible by sunrise. remember it is better to die a free man than to be eaten.” you gotta wolf down all of your peaches at the check out counter while the trader joe’s employees eagerly look at the Peach Consumption Countdown Clock and cheer you on. these peaches have sensors on them that can tell when they come into contact with human hands so they can begin their self-destruct sequence like you’re in a spy movie and the peach just relayed a message to you about the whereabouts of jimmy hoffa’s decayed remains
Jimmy Hoffa is likely dead
this response carries so much chaotic cursed energy. jimmy hoffa was declared dead in 1982 after disappearing in 1975. he was born in 1913, meaning he would be the miraculous age of 105 today if he wasn’t dead. “likely dead.” the fact that it’s a hetalia blog trying to tell me that he is likely dead. the fact that i specifically mention his decayed corpse in my post so there is literally no reason for someone to alert me that he is “likely” deceased. the fact that this hetalia blog is trying to tell this to me, a person who up until recently literally worked for the international brotherhood of teamsters as a person in charge of handling their historical records. i spent two years of my life answering phone calls from people asking me if i personally knew what happened to jimmy hoffa’s body. ive spent a significantly longer amount of time trying to forget that hetalia exists. my entire career as a hetalia facebook roleplayer at the age of 11 just flashed through my eyes. i legitimately cannot express how much this response has effected me. ive been staring at it for 7 minutes. i feel like ive entered the twilight zone
I don’t ever remember writing that, when did I write that
everything about this is cursed
i follow this subreddit called r/chairsunderwater the whole sub is just chairs underwater its a great experience
just some lads
Do you think people with LED headlights know that everyone hates them? Like…really hates them in an oddly personal way? Do you think they know?
Pre war Bucky was a gay icon who protected closeted lesbians by picking them up for dates to avoid their parents suspicion and then taking them to hang out with their girlfriends (but staying close enough that he could punch the daylights out of any fucko who tried to harass them). This is canon.
James Buchanan Barnes on his last night before deployment, chaperoning two lesbian nerds on their date to the science fair.
I don’t give a fuck about Netflix!!
I’m here to get nutted in. I’m a grown ass woman.
Put it in.
It’s 1:11am and I’m up breastfeeding for the 3rd time
Don’t fuckin listen to me. Just watch the movie
alice cullen saw the 2008 recession coming and she didn’t say anything about it
A bunch of humans saw it and didn’t stop it either she’s in a family of vampires not the fuckin avengers bitch
if you’re reading this
a lump sum of money is on the way to you
- it happened today, damn that was like 3 days maybe?
It Works the money is on its way!
Need this.
Of course
It worked tho
I just won $500 off a scratch Ticket lottery.
ENERGY
OKAY LEGIT I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY. ME AND MY PARTNER ARE IN SUCH A TIGHT SPOT FOR MONEY ATM AS WE ARE SAVING FOR A DEPOSIT ON A HOUSE. I GOT PAID DOUBLE WHAT I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET AND SO DID HE AND HONESTLY I CRIED SO MUCH TODAY IM SO HAPPY AND RELIEVED
Positive vibes!!!!!
Gimma ALLAT SHIT
Run it🗣
Yeah.